Single Decisions - Part 1
It may seem paradoxical, but one of the toughest things I have always found about being single is the process of decision-making. You would think that the absence of another individual would make it easier to make choices, and of course it does when you’re deciding what movie to watch on a Friday night (RomComs all the way) or what take-out to order (hello, pizza?). But sadly life isn’t always that simple, indeed, it is more often than not fraught with complex pathways to be navigated.
The problem with decisions is that they are rarely black or white, or good or bad. The pros and cons of taking this path instead of that path can look very similar on paper. And it’s even more hopeless when you are faced with two bad scenarios of which you need to choose the one least likely to cause any kind of damage.
When you are alone in this situation, it is impossible to take an objective approach, which is, theoretically, critical for decision-making; ironically, some decisions can only be made subjectively because the skin in the game is your own.
Some of the biggest decisions are, of course, those involving large sums of money; and where there are large sums of money, there are potentially shady salespeople. The chance that you are being duped is when you feel most vulnerable as a single person. Having someone else who might be able to suss-out a dodgy deal, or who will carry the burden of a final decision with you, can make a huge difference.
Just as I was about to buy my little apartment in the inner west twenty years ago, I went through a crisis of indecision. I had only viewed the property once and it all seemed great; the location was exactly where I wanted, the size was acceptable (not perfect but not bad), and the price – after a lengthy negotiation – was right. Furthermore, I loved it.
And yet, I was paranoid that I was signing up for thirty years and hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt for a lemon. I mean, how could I know for sure?! There was no one else who could reassure me, no one else who was taking the leap with me. I alone would carry both the decision and the debt – the anxiety made every nerve in my body tingle.
Fortunately, a builder friend of mine – Peter (God bless him) – happened to call me up out of the blue just to say ‘hey’ right in the middle of my panic. When I explained my concerns, he offered to check the place out for me. What a relief it was when he rang to say, ‘Go for it!’ Just that little bit of reassurance from a (knowledgeable) second party was all I needed to have confidence in my decision.
With that said, you might say that it’s a lack of confidence that causes one to doubt their capacity to make the right choice, but I disagree. I don’t lack confidence in my intellect and reason, nor in my ability to carefully weigh up the pros and cons of a situation.
The problem is the unpredictability of a future that is full of unknown twists and turns and hidden risks. You could also argue that there are no right or wrong choices when one has done their research; but how many times have we heard of people’s regrets?
And then there are the even bigger decisions that don’t involve money at all but something far more important – literal life and death, and health and wellbeing decisions that are impossible to make and yet you must.
These are the decisions that have the potential to eat away at you forever.
…to be continued…